We are going to the states in 4 days…and my nanny got her visa to join us…YAY…but on a last minute whim, we were invited to Australia for a fun trip…I’ve ALWAYS ALWAYS wanted to go there…like stupidly, always…as a girl, I dreamt of “moving away to Australia, growing my hair long, it getting blonde in the sun, me getting tanned and picking up that Australian sexy accent…and overall…return to the USA…a SEXY GIRL”…who thinks like this anyhow? Maybe a 14 year old Alaska Girl…??? HA! BUT…in order to do this trip, it was going to be me…SOLO! I can handle all 3 of my kids anytime, anyplace…but NOT the airplane/airport thing…This post is about us flying…and only that. Australian fun…will be later!
For the 9 days leading up to our departure, little Zachary was up at 4 am every morning…with a sweet wake up call, reminding me of HOW MANY MORE sleeps we had until Australia. It was cute (and annoying!)!! So all my boys UNDERSTOOD something was going on! They were ALL excited!! I was excited…the airport was empty, Brandon wore a puppy backpack leash and Trevor wore a lamb backpack leash…while Zachary toted the iPad around in his Spiderman backpack…we were all smiles, ready to go…on our adventure…flight departure time…8:25 pm…
We were good, enjoying ourselves, watching Cars, playing Lunchbox on the pod/pad/galaxy…when our normal 45 minute flight to Bangkok became an hour and 45 minutes…due to over crowding in the airspace…(yeah, that’s what I’m thinking…it’s overcrowded up here, but you’re going to keep up flying around for another hour?)…
lucky for me, the Thai Airlines (WONDERFUL wonderful flight, by the way) attendants alerted BKK and someone was waiting there for me, with my name on a sign and my own van to transport us to the international departures…WOO HOO!! That was the part I was stressed about…you have to walk DOWN the stairs and into a tram bus to transport you to the airport…
…and the twins had their own wheelchair to share…and after arriving in the other terminal, I’m quite confident that this would have been a disaster alone…it was about a one mile walk…with 3 tired kids…THANK YOU Thai!!
So, yeah, those are the last photos…because I got to the gate in time to let the twins run around for 10 minutes before they called us to board…Brandon was biting the crap out of me, so I gave him some Tylenol to help with that tooth trying to sneak out…and LUCKY ME…his gag reflux was so helpful and in front of the entire group of passengers, Brandon vomited all over the floor and his ONE blankie I had brought for hiim…Eh, no problem, smile on my face, a quick shake of the vomit, blanket in the trash bin that was so conveniently RIGHT next to me…and off I stroll to the plane…Ahhhhh…BULKHEAD…yay…Right??? No…no basinet for my big boys…AND…the arm rests do not go up in the bulkhead. The head flight attendant offered to move us back to another aisle like 20 away…we were settled in and I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers, so I politely declined for the moment and she said we could move after take off…Brando passed out immediately…Zachary did as well, but wasn’t so comfortable…fortunately, a kind kind older man behind us moved so that Zachary could stretch out between two seat and sleep. Trevor finally followed suit…for about 15 minutes…remember, the arm rests don’t go up…I tried laying him on the floor…not allowed anymore…then Brandon wakes up…both screaming their heads off…they.JUST.WANT.SLEEP…and can’t seem to get it partially sitting up and over armrests…what the heck? When I was a kid…I could pass out anywhere (ask my mom!)…so this is about 2 hours into the 8.5 hour flight and they both starts screaming, I’m sweating, wanting to scream myself and another kind soul comes to help me…only thing, Brandon starts screaming louder…everyone is trying to give them something to SHUT THEM UP…but like I said…they just want sleep! Finally, I get them BOTH on my chest…prop my knees up by my toes pointed and fly the next 5 hours like this…as they toss and turn and scream every 30 minutes because they can’t get comfortable…Lesson #1…the bulkhead ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be…
We arrive in Australia…flight was an hour late…getting thru customs with 3 kids and a suitcase and 2 car seats…well, not exactly a walk in the park…our transport had come and left and we were told we would have another 1.5 hour wait until the transport could arrive back at the airport…sorry…but EFF THAT…I’ll take a cab…for $270. I was arriving earlier than everyone else so that I could set up for a birthday party and greet all of my friends arriving from Melbourne…The boys…and I …finally get a few Z’s…because Brisbane to Surfer’s Paradise is 1.25 hours.
First view of the ocean in Australia…was a crazy wave day…they were insane!
…and let me just add this footnote…some OTHER kindly older man saw us in the terminal in Brisbane and looked at me with a big smile and sighed and said, “Oh GOOD! I’m so glad you made it!”….ummmmm…ME TOO!!
Lesson # 2…the shorter the better…enlist help whenever possible…
The next flight to Melbourne was short and simple and on Virgin…like 3 “goods”…cannot go wrong! Not to mention, I had a friend flying with me = help with one of the boys!
Then it was time to fly home…I was keen to have my friends drop me at the curb and head away, but like good friends, they wouldn’t HEAR of it…and thank GOD…that line wove around the cones about 5 times…the boys were in their packs, wrestling each other, laughing, giggling, falling and having fun…everyone was looking at us smiling and saying, “Oh! How cute!”…”Look at them…aren’t they adorable?”…”Twins!? I’ve always wanted twins!”…yeah…that was the line to check in…about 30 minutes later, I had to take off their packs for security and the trouble started when I put them back on…Brandon had a complete melt down…to the point where he threw up all over the immigrations desk, officer and floor, screaming at the top of his lungs and Trevor was crying because Brandon was crying and Zachary asked me about 50 times, “When can I play my iPad? Is it time now?”…so here comes my “I don’t hear a thing.this is perfectly normal.I deal with this everyday.vomit…what vomit?these guys are angels”.usually.they are just really stressed.don’t make EYE CONTACT WITH ANYONE”…face…ah ha…don’t lie, you all know that face…(Robbi…the poop on the Eye of London diaper…pretending not to know whose kid did it…uh huh…)…then off to the bathroom to change shitty diapers (because in my head I wasn’t calling them poop)…relieve myself and I get that pity look again! Seriously, you can’t help but give that look when you see a mom with three kids screaming in an airport…ALAS…
Lesson #3: Carry suckers. Everyone got a dose of sugar and smiles were back.
Lesson #4: iPods/iPads/Galaxy Notebooks…whatever it takes…Niki Minaj videos, Selena Gomez…WHATEVER it takes…I’m not kidding…every child had his own, we plopped down and waited to board the plane to our seats…that were NOT in the bulkhead!! SPLENDID!!! 
I got everyone to sleep and “Yes, thank you, I WILL enjoy that free cocktail!”
It wasn’t perfect…took about 6 different adjustments…OK…I lie, that’s conservative…I think I switched between the middle and the aisle about 12 times…just to get the twins situated JUST right…and it worked, because they didn’t wake up until our approach to Bangkok…where we were an hour early…
…and had 3 hours to kill before our final leg to Phnom Penh…running, suckers, running, suckers, running, suckers and then the floor with babas and iPads…I MADE IT!!! I really did it…and I’m not crazy…and I am READY for our trip to the USA…I think!!!
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